I just turned 16 but have recently begun interacting with a 34-year old man I met over myspace. He tells me I am so pretty and I am in love with him. I think we should meet, but I don't want him to meet me and hate me. What should I do?
Surfing for a man, Middlebury, Vt.

Dr. Joyce Smotherbox replies:
Listen honey, when I was your age I too was looking for Mr. Right in all the wrong places. But in your case it sounds like you found him.

Bet you didn't see that one coming.

Now I'm sure that family and friends alike have told you that this guy is probably more like 56 and balding with a beer belly that would make Richard Simmons lose an erection quicker than Michael Jackson in a nursing home. They are probably telling you that this man is dangerous and giving you some spiel about internet predators.

Well sweety, Dr. Joyce is going to let you in on a little secret: Love can be tough, and sometimes you have to get raped by a seedy old man you meet on the internet in order to find a great guy online who will treat you like a princess.

You are old enough now to know what is right in your heart. It sounds like you really love this man and if he loves you now, he will surely love you twice as much after he meets you and finds out that you really are 16 and really do have a 16-year old pussy waiting for him between your thighs.

So get out there and make love happen.

The Doctor is out