Dear vast international pop vulture fan community,
I realize that I may have let you down in that I have not responded personally to as many of your questions as would behoove me. I regret that I have great demands on my time as a certified God of Thunder. Rest assured that when I am not fighting epic magic ninja battles to secure the fate of your world, I am thinking hard about you: Otto in Ohio, who is being bullied because he got his right ear pierced without knowing the cultural significance; Marty in Michigan, who wants to know whether to put a potato in the muffler of his step-dad's camaro, or just cut his throat in his sleep; and especially you Fanny in Fargo - keep sending me those 'special pictures.'
In an attempt to prove my devotion to the pop-vulture nation I recently descended from my high perch to visit one lucky reader in person to discuss his issues. Willie in West Oakland had written me a few weeks back about some trouble he was having with his high school geography homework, and, ironically, finding Willie was more difficult than I anticipated.
When I first arrived in beautiful West Oakland I asked the first person I saw, a local crack-head, if he knew Willie, but he couldn't answer because he was using his mouth to tear open paper salt packets to put on a hardboiled egg he was trying to eat in the middle of a busy thoroughfare.
The next person I met was raking his sidewalk while paramedics extracted gunshot victims from the top floor of his duplex. "Willie!? That kid hella stupid. He live two blocks that way." I thanked him for his kindness (he had also told me where I could score some dope) and went on my way.
When I did finally meet Willie, he was sitting on the stoop in front of his building with his eyes rolled back in his head and a needle hanging out of his arm. I assumed he must be diabetic and that his blood sugar was low, so he was napping for a bit. To pass the time I made my way to one of West Oakland's 53 conveniently located liquor stores, talked politics with some locals, and attended a block party where the girls were 'shakin their thangs,' but when I returned Willie was gone. I can only assume he had gone to seek a tutor. Good for you Willie!
Incidentally, I saw an ambulance pull away from in front of Willie's house, but I was too wasted to notice it at the time. I'm sure it was nothing.
Until next time, say not to drugs, at least until you are old enough to claim you are 'peacefully descenting,' then you can do all the drugs you want.
Love,
The God of Thunder
Friday, March 7, 2008
Lord Jowlmonger VIII says:
No, no, no to the both of your flabbergasting. Reading your prose is like a delicious popover, fancy on the outside but filled with fluffy homo erotic yeast surplus. I say you two remind of the time I walked in on Count Craig Wood of Devonshire and his male knight Eric Bagetta, the village queer. Count Wood had a rare unicorn horn shoved so far into his hind quarters, that he appeared to be a yoked bovine! I say you could store a fortnight of grain in his rectum after the strapping Sir Bagetta finished him off.
If you really wish to gaze under the frock of a pre-teen, you must first entice them to explore the humbling option of the codpiece. It is nearly as delicious as it sounds and it truly accentuates the genitals of a junior knight in training.
No, no, no to the both of your flabbergasting. Reading your prose is like a delicious popover, fancy on the outside but filled with fluffy homo erotic yeast surplus. I say you two remind of the time I walked in on Count Craig Wood of Devonshire and his male knight Eric Bagetta, the village queer. Count Wood had a rare unicorn horn shoved so far into his hind quarters, that he appeared to be a yoked bovine! I say you could store a fortnight of grain in his rectum after the strapping Sir Bagetta finished him off.
If you really wish to gaze under the frock of a pre-teen, you must first entice them to explore the humbling option of the codpiece. It is nearly as delicious as it sounds and it truly accentuates the genitals of a junior knight in training.
Coach Dick Rubs says:
What kind of knuckle head are you Mr. Tasty 69, (you're not fooling anyone with your clever sum +1 name) Mr. Shwety Balzac, its all about function and comfort. Have you ever seen a young man with a chaffed grundle? A case of jock itch so bad you couldn't tell if he had been blown by raccoon or been jerked of by Edward Scissor Hands? If bleeding from your undercarriage doesn't stop you from wearing those damn boxers let me tell you about my college roommate.
Back in the, "days of your" when I was playing college football, we were all about being as masculine as possible; wearing boxers, not showering, not orally consuming pussy, drinking beer instead of Gatorade, peeing on our friends heads when they were passed out, listening to the Beach Boys so loud the RA's would flip their shit and nearly commit suicide. Things went as such for sometime until my roommate came to me with a little problem, he exclaimed, "Dick! My balls hurt so much when I try and have sex that sometimes I just fake ejaculate, pull out and apologize for my issues with pre-mature ejaculation." I told him he was a pussy and he should drink a beer. His girlfriend told him otherwise and after a short visit with the RN on campus he was diagnosed with Polio and died later that semester. There is 3 lessons to be learned from all of this, wear briefs, shower and don't listing to women, otherwise you'll get Polio.
Hit the showers!
Coach Dickey Rubs
What kind of knuckle head are you Mr. Tasty 69, (you're not fooling anyone with your clever sum +1 name) Mr. Shwety Balzac, its all about function and comfort. Have you ever seen a young man with a chaffed grundle? A case of jock itch so bad you couldn't tell if he had been blown by raccoon or been jerked of by Edward Scissor Hands? If bleeding from your undercarriage doesn't stop you from wearing those damn boxers let me tell you about my college roommate.
Back in the, "days of your" when I was playing college football, we were all about being as masculine as possible; wearing boxers, not showering, not orally consuming pussy, drinking beer instead of Gatorade, peeing on our friends heads when they were passed out, listening to the Beach Boys so loud the RA's would flip their shit and nearly commit suicide. Things went as such for sometime until my roommate came to me with a little problem, he exclaimed, "Dick! My balls hurt so much when I try and have sex that sometimes I just fake ejaculate, pull out and apologize for my issues with pre-mature ejaculation." I told him he was a pussy and he should drink a beer. His girlfriend told him otherwise and after a short visit with the RN on campus he was diagnosed with Polio and died later that semester. There is 3 lessons to be learned from all of this, wear briefs, shower and don't listing to women, otherwise you'll get Polio.
Hit the showers!
Coach Dickey Rubs
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Dear PopVultures, boxers or briefs? Many thanks,
Mr. Schwety Balzac
mrtasty68+1 replies:
A tantalizing question suited just for me. When talking about undergarments u need to decide: style or cumfort? In anal-yzing style, u need to consider the situation. For the most part people will not c your underwear but that doesnt mean that u shouldnt be fun with them! lol! Black underwear will most likely cover up most embarassing stains in case any situations arise where they will be seen. Black boxers and briefs both look good hanging out of pants or shorts or mouths - because theyre meant 2 be hidden doesnt mean have to be as they can be a very stylish and sexy accessory with all outfits. 2 really show off the undies I would advocate boys wear a shorter shirt, maybe 1 that goes just above the belly button 2 show off a treasure trail if 1 has begun. Another way 2 draw attention 2 the fundies (rofl) is 2 wear tight pants, the tighter the better. Tight pants can be real magnifying in certain areas which means we can be friends, lol!!!
Since cumfort and style go hand in hand we can continue this. Personally, I think the most cumfortable underwear is none at all. That's right, I wear none at all, it makes things quicker. At the pajama parties I throw when school is canceled due 2 snow or phoned in bomb threats, I like it when my friends are cumfortable. Boxers, briefs, thongs - they all cum in Mickey Mouse and Calvin and Hobbes designs which are all the rage at recess, look good sticking out of tight pants, and look better when fully visible at my parties. I find that button flies are a pain and restrict proper air flow. Stay away from them! The best part about underwear is that it cums off so easy when u need it 2, handy dandy!
My answer is that it doesnt matter if u wear boxers or briefs as long as: they look good, they are cumfortable, and you cum to my pajama parties in them! If you want to cum, which you do because I do, then hit me up at mrtasty68+1 and make sure there are no POS, lmao!!!
Mr. Schwety Balzac
mrtasty68+1 replies:
A tantalizing question suited just for me. When talking about undergarments u need to decide: style or cumfort? In anal-yzing style, u need to consider the situation. For the most part people will not c your underwear but that doesnt mean that u shouldnt be fun with them! lol! Black underwear will most likely cover up most embarassing stains in case any situations arise where they will be seen. Black boxers and briefs both look good hanging out of pants or shorts or mouths - because theyre meant 2 be hidden doesnt mean have to be as they can be a very stylish and sexy accessory with all outfits. 2 really show off the undies I would advocate boys wear a shorter shirt, maybe 1 that goes just above the belly button 2 show off a treasure trail if 1 has begun. Another way 2 draw attention 2 the fundies (rofl) is 2 wear tight pants, the tighter the better. Tight pants can be real magnifying in certain areas which means we can be friends, lol!!!
Since cumfort and style go hand in hand we can continue this. Personally, I think the most cumfortable underwear is none at all. That's right, I wear none at all, it makes things quicker. At the pajama parties I throw when school is canceled due 2 snow or phoned in bomb threats, I like it when my friends are cumfortable. Boxers, briefs, thongs - they all cum in Mickey Mouse and Calvin and Hobbes designs which are all the rage at recess, look good sticking out of tight pants, and look better when fully visible at my parties. I find that button flies are a pain and restrict proper air flow. Stay away from them! The best part about underwear is that it cums off so easy when u need it 2, handy dandy!
My answer is that it doesnt matter if u wear boxers or briefs as long as: they look good, they are cumfortable, and you cum to my pajama parties in them! If you want to cum, which you do because I do, then hit me up at mrtasty68+1 and make sure there are no POS, lmao!!!
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